The Secret Devotion
by JustARandomThought
Summary: Angels aren't meant to love mortals. So what happens when Castiel finds himself helplessly in love with Dean Winchester? How far would he go to live alongside the man? Somewhat AU.


_A/N: Hello! First SPN fiction, so please bear with me. This is meant to be a (VERY) overdue birthday present for my best friend and I'd just like to know how I'm doing so far.  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, nor the plot. Inspired by Alluring Secret Black Vow.  
I do not watch Supernatural, so I really apologize if I don't get their personalities right! I basically have the Supernatural wikia in my tabs for reference._

CASTIEL

"You are to be banished to earth, Castiel. Don't ever come back."

The words, filled with disappointment and dripping with bitterness, were like stabs through the heart by an Angel Blade. I kept my head lowered, fingers tightly curled around the handle of the gun in my hand. I did not question His ways. I had killed someone out of my own will. It was only right that I was banished from Heaven. Who did I kill, though? I didn't remember. I couldn't. I wouldn't. I lifted my head as everything faded to blackness, and I felt myself falling endlessly, though the presence of Father and my fellow brothers and sisters were slipping further and further. I was falling.

Falling from Heaven.

The earth was a filthy, disgusting, vile place. The beings that walked there were sinful, morally imperfect and selfish. I could only imagine why Father loved them so much. I didn't like to think about the humans. They brought Father such pain and upset, though he loved them altruistically anyway. It puzzled me and it still does, though I do not question His ways. I just wanted nothing to do with them.

Yet, even as I harboured all these negative thoughts, I walked injured and lost on the very planet I abhorred. I staggered through the filthy streets, the sky above me slowly turning black and grey, whichever it was. It was going to rain. I grimaced at the thought as faceless people passed me by without much thought, the treasure chest, brimming with the very sin I despised, clutched to my chest. There was a surging pain in my side, where I had absorbed impact from the fall. Naturally, I didn't die from it, though it was irritating and unnatural for me. I pressed a hand to my side, an unfamiliar liquid staining my fingers.

Blood.

I felt sick to the stomach, staring at the red substance. Memories flooded back into my mind like a tsunami and I soon found myself unable to think about it for much longer and continued on my way aimlessly. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't know how I was going to get there on my own either. Breathing got harder and I was soon gasping for air.

No one paid me much attention.

The occasional glances towards me were the only indication I was visible to those imbeciles. How could they live with themselves passing by someone they knew was injured? A cough was forced out of my throat and I leaned against the wall next to me for support. I didn't have the energy to go on much further. How long had I been walking already? A few hours, maybe. I couldn't remember. My knees buckled and I slid to the floor slowly, a hand gripping tightly to the material of my shirt – twill, I think. I was exhausted. My mind refused to clear. My heart palpitated furiously – painfully - in my chest cavity. I winced and did the only thing I knew how to – pray.

I prayed to be back in Heaven. I prayed not to die on earth. (if that was even possible) I prayed—

"Hey, are you okay?"

The voice that woke me from daze came from a man, possibly of his thirties. I turned my head and saw a man of short-cropped light brown hair. His green eyes captured my attention immediately. I swallowed the bile that appeared in my throat and I couldn't reply. I blinked in surprise at myself. A grin spread on his face and he reached out a hand to me. "Come on, my place is a couple blocks down the road. You look like you could use some patching up," he smiled again, and for some reason, I stopped breathing. I didn't quite understand his words, but that didn't matter.

"My name's Dean, by the way."

What was this? I couldn't comprehend what was happening to me as Dean helped my spent form to his house. One step after the other seemed easier as he started up conversation. I didn't speak much, but he didn't seem to mind. My throat felt like it was coated in sawdust and it didn't help I was… nervous. Why was that? I couldn't answer that for myself just yet. Or rather, I refused to. Even then I knew all too well the forbidden feeling stirring in my heart.

Over the course of the few days I had spent in Dean's house, I was convinced not all humans were as horrible as I thought. He was a living, breathing example of a benevolent person. Every time I saw his perfectly chiselled face, my human heart fluttered, my face got flushed and I couldn't stop smiling. I was in love. Or, infatuated at least. Regardless, my feelings for Dean were undeniable. If it wasn't love, then what was it? I had thought about it for nights at a stretch and nothing could rightly describe my feelings as well as love did. It was foolish and ridiculous of me to think in such outlandish ways. An angel could never love a mortal. Yet with that nagging voice at the back of my head to leave him be, every fibre of my being screaming at me that was a sin, I failed to heed their words and I selfishly wanted Dean for myself.

_A/N: Please R&R. Thank you for reading!_


End file.
